OCD in general is something that many people aren't eager to share with others. After all, many popular depictions of OCD display the disorder as comical at best, and it's never fun to be known as the guy (or gal) with the mental disorder. This is especially true in the case of something like ROCD, where the disorder is directly related to those we would be most likely to turn to for support. The prospect of facing our significant other and saying, "Honey, I know I love you, but I have a disease that makes me think I don't. I know that hurts, but I'd like you to stick with me even if I feel compelled to tell you that I'm not sure I love you," isn't terribly appealing. Unfortunately, social support is a great predictor of positive outcomes in mental illness, so it's probably in our best interest to turn to someone. Still, it's easy to be skeptical of the help others will provide? Will they understand what we're experiencing, or just advise us to get out of what they assume is a bad relationship?
I've been to nervous about possible misunderstanding to even tell my therapist about my ROCD symptoms (though I plan to change that soon), and I only mentioned once (very offhandedly) to my fiance. How about you? Has anyone shared their struggle with their significant other, friends, or therapists? How did it go? Did they take it well, or in retrospect do you with you'd kept it to yourself? I'd love to know the best way to approach this (and I'm sure lot's of other people would like to know, too).
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ReplyDeleteI have been struggling with ROCD for about a year and half now, when the thoughts first struck me my boyfriend (now husband) was very upset because he was leaving for the military shortly after and was very hurt, we had broken up because I had to see if when we werent together if that would make that thoughts go away and it didnt, i still wanted him but the thoughts were still there. When he left for the military we were sending letters back and forth and i flew to see him graduate. We then started dating again and when he came home i told him I would never let the "thoughts" come between us again. We recently got married and the thoughts are still there but my husband helps me through each cycle I have by telling me, "He doesnt get butterflies everytime he talks to me" or "he isnt thinking about me constantly throughout the day" I need to hear those things because when I do I realize that my thoughts are irrational and useless.
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog, thank you for creating this - it really helps to read that others are going through similar experiences. I do have an open discuss with my partner about my thoughts, I have tried to explain to him how I feel, so he has come to not take them too personally. I too feel that when he does tell me some thoughts he has that are negative (but most people have, except I just analyze, and give them too much importance) - I feel much better, and closer to him. I have told my therapist, but she does not feel it is truly OCD, but just a way of distancing myself from him, to avoid being vulnerable due to past family history. Some days, I feel as thought as of this anxiety are just useless thoughts, other times I feel as I thought they are real. Hopefully, I will get a handle on things soon.
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